Reading Aloud Changes Things

This week I had the pleasure of speaking with a group of moms of younger kids at our parish. It was a delightful morning of sharing, brainstorming ideas, and encouragement. I pray the Holy Spirit moved through our conversations and I hope my family’s story is of help to others. God is good!

We spoke a lot about things like…how do you homeschool when you have a bunch of littles? (like a ninja) How do you keep your sanity and part of “you” as you parent littles (dark chocolate until you wear out your pancreas…if you have other options, let me know) and where do you find titles of good books? (Eureka! I know that one!!)

I honestly don’t have the answers to a lot of questions of young mamas, because I still struggle with the same things as an old mama 🙂 I guess I’m kind of resigned to the fact that these kids need to eat every day…they need clean clothes every day, and the floor gets dirty…every day… and they fight and get their feelings hurt and they hurt my feelings and somehow this all shakes out to getting us to Heaven. This is our sanctification. I’m banking on it. SO, I do not have all of the answers, but I do know having a sense of humor is a must and that His Grace is sufficient for all of our weary hearts.

But Mamas…you have a super power right at your fingertips. It’s called READING ALOUD! This is one of the few things I am certain of…reading aloud is a game changer.

We’ve been “building our family culture around books” for years, way before Sarah and company used that as their tagline for the Read Aloud Revival website.  (Go check it out, my goodness, what an amazing resource.)

As a young mom, I’ll be honest, I was so clueless. I had the cutest, sweetest little red headed, 15-month-apart little bruiser boys ever.

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See?? I told you. And now they are in architecture and grad school. And they have beards. (Hand me a kleenex, sniff) But you know what I did a lot of when they were little? I talked on the phone…that’s the thing that used to be hooked into the wall with a curly cord and you ran around like a dog on the end of a chain, seeing if your kids were in mortal danger while you  went on and on and on about how tired you were and how you need more coffee and you wish Theodore the Tugboat was on twice a day because it’s so cute?? OH boy. What a waste of time, sorry kids. I still think Theodore is one of the best kids shows PBS ever did. Bring it back.

This is the thing…I didn’t know what to DO with them. I fed them, clothed them, cleaned them, but for heaven’s sake, you do that with a dog, and these were KIDS, MY kids. I needed to connect with them more than I did with that blasted phone to my ear. I loved them, I would die for them, but I didn’t know how to “play” with my kids. I mean, Legos? Matchbox cars? Uhhh…..what do you do with that stuff?

Enter….the library. One day, I took my boys to the library, right on the Eastside of Indy, Warren Library, the one I went to as a kid. And I picked out some books. Not great books for the most part, mostly Berenstain Bears, (cringe) and some Lego books, but I did see one that caught my eye. The artwork…it was so different. And I checked out Babushka Baba Yaga. Oh, I wept as I read that book….my little boys sat on my lap and I wept some more and read it again. What sweetness. I have to say, Patricia Pollaco changed my life with that one book. That’s the truth. While reading to my boys that afternoon, and many more after it, we connected. We talked, we laughed, I cried, they looked at me awkwardly (and now are acutely aware that if I pick up one of PP’s books, forget it, I’m a goner) and we repeated this over and over and over. This is not to say that every single time I read, it was angels and choirs singing with my cherubic little boys hanging on to every word. No…often I was sitting in the middle of Lego and Playmobil battles, looking over at my dirty kitchen and piles of laundry, trying not to panic that the place might implode if I didn’t get to those jobs. Sometimes the boys were quiet, often they weren’t…but we read away so many long afternoons, and something happened.

I started to become the mom I wanted to be.

I knew that books told stories and said things I was unsure of how to say, and they organically taught all of us about the virtues I didn’t even know yet that I wanted my kids to espouse. Before I had heard of Charlotte Mason, or thought about homeschooling, I knew that books, good books, were an important part of our lives. They fed me, they fed my kids, and we developed a common language of stories shared.

So, where do you find THOSE kind of books? The ones that don’t pander to your kids, or treat them like they are some wise guy hustling deals in the alley while their dumb parents open another beer?( I can’t stand the trend towards making adults look stupid in kids books, especially the dads.)

Here’s my short list of resources to find great books for your youngins.

Honey For A Child’s Heart–love this one! This isn’t just a list of books, (it does have a great bibliography) but also a beautiful encouragement to bring beauty and Truth into your children’s lives.

The next two books I am linking are written by my friend, Cay Gibson. I’ve know Cay for years online, and one day, need to meet her in person!! She’s written some pretty terrific books about books…I’ve found them most helpful. Go over to her blog at Cajun Cottage and check out “Picture Perfect Childhood” and “Catholic Mosaic.” Those are SO WORTH it. Lots and lots of lists that are by month and Liturgical season. Pure Gold!

Another one of my friends, Maureen Wittman, has gathered loads of titles to teach certain subjects using living books. Yahoo!! For the Love of Literature: Teaching Core Subjects with Literature is most helpful.

Two books that I’m making my way through and am so impressed with:

Books That Build Character and The Mysteries of Life in Children’s Literature. Both of these have great titles that inspire virtue without being a sappy morality play. Kids pick up on that, you know? They sense when things are getting preachy….and thumping them on the head with “you better do it this way, or else, little naughty boy.” I like thought provoking and complex stories, not “Now we will read a book on perseverance for those who can’t do the dishes without whining.”

Just to keep it real, yes, we do have Spot and Curious George books. We have Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew. You haven’t lived unless you’ve listened to Nancy Drew audio books. I LOVE those. But that’s another blogpost about audio books. I do make a point of investing in the good stuff for our family library, and some of the other titles I’m not as excited to purchase, (Angelina Ballerina, and Disney princess stuff) they can occasionally check out from the library.

So what are some of your favorite books? I’ll be back soon to shares some of our beloved ones.

Thanks for visiting!

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Yeah…see..it wasn’t always reading quietly on my lap with four boys. Lots of swords…lots.

 

Death Examined, Life Revealed

When I saw that Well Read Mom’s first selection for the new season was Leo Tolstoy’s “The Death of Ivan Ilych” I might have groaned just a teeny tiny bit. Goodness, another Russian author? I tried to finish WRM’s Spring selection, “The Brothers Karamazov” but with moving twice in four months, I just couldn’t cross the finish line with that 1,000 page haus. It was a great exposure to an iconic work, but man oh man, I had a hard time walking with the “Brothers K.” What I really enjoyed was listening to the audio book. It was terrific. The Russian names, which kind of trip me up when I am reading them, make so much more sense when I “hear” them vs reading it.

I did read Tolstoy’s “Anna Karenina” a few times, and somehow, Tolstoy’s writing didn’t upend me quite like Dostoyevsky. I trust the foundress of WRM, Marcie Stokman, with my reading to-do list, so I forged ahead.

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Yo! Go try to top this one for the “Funkiest Front Cover” award for the Russian Collection of Short Stories Category. Sixties were great. man. I have no idea where this came from, it was just on my shelf. Perks of marrying a philosophy major.

I am so glad I picked up “The Death of Ivan Ilych.” First, it is substantially shorter than most Russian literature I’ve been exposed to, given that it is a short story. I think it took me just a few hours to read.  It is hard to say that I love Ivan Ilych, like I love “Kristin Lavransdatter” or dark chocolate, but it is a must read. (Every dead Russian author has just now collectively rolled in their graves that I compared them to Sigrid Undset and dark chocolate.)  The Russians specialize in powerhouse reads, yes? They know just how to cut to the quick, even if they often take a 1,000 page pre-game tour through the land of sin and carnage. When they get to it, they lay us open and expose our weaknesses like my Southern friend, Flannery O’Connor. There’s no wiggling out of this one, Folks. We are all going to die. Maybe Flannery, due to her chronic illness, felt death’s stare just like those in Russia, who were dodging the bullets of Revolution or battling against starvation, oppression, pride, themselves and vodka. Their lives were often either brutally hard or brutally shallow. And there is always the mystical air of Orthodoxy that permeates their culture, reminding them of where they have come, and where they will go back to…

So, I’m not giving anything away here when I say this main character, Ivan….dies. Tolstoy deftly moves through his stages of denial, grief, anger, indignation, all of it. And finally, we witness Ivan’s awful realization that his life was shallow…and he wrestles with that until the end. It is ugly, but necessary. We recognize our own selves, our pettiness, our ambition.

“It is as if I had been going downhill while I imagined I was going up. And that is really what it was. I was going up in public opinion, but to the same extent life was ebbing away from me. And now it is all done and there is only death.”

Ivan’s family and friends all continue to play the game of life in charades, a perfectly orchestrated power struggle of vying for the next important rung on the social ladder. The True Story is revealed to him, and while terrifying, there lies his freedom at last. I was touched by the way Tolstoy uses Ivan’s young son as the innocent, the one who’s authentic grief and love accompany Ivan ever so briefly. There is no gore in this story, no scary medical scene, but you follow Ivan’s devastating inner turmoil throughout. I appreciate that it’s never melodramatic in a cheap way…the Russians don’t write cheap lit.

Friends, be brave, be fearless, pick up Tolstoy’s “The Death of Ivan Ilych.” It will stick to you like grace, because that’s what the Holy Spirit does.  He works through authors like Tolstoy to get us thinking about our own lives, our own well lived journey.  The ending of our story can be affected by the reading of this story.

Come back and tell me what you think.

A Reflection on Books

I’ve been thinking a lot about books. When we moved twice in the last six months, it was unpacking our beloved books that made our rental, and then our purchased house–a home. As I sorted through boxes and boxes of books, and filled up shelves, I smiled and shed a few tears, reminiscing  over the years we’ve spent reading these books. They are our constant companions, our friends, and beloved family members. The packers that originally boxed up our home in Michigan repeatedly said, “Wow…ya’ll love books, like, really LOVE books, don’t you?” I told them I don’t have many nick knacks, and I decorate with Kids and Books.

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Two of many bookshelves throughout the house. The Titanic is pretty cool, too!

As we are finally settling in to our new home and beautiful state of Georgia, I would like to start posting lists of some of my very favorite children and adult books. After home educating for over 18 years, I have so many lists in my head, so many literary “friends” I want to share with you. I have said many times, good literature is so efficient. It reveals our humanity to us and changes culture. And we all agree culture needs a bit of overhaul, yes? So, this is how we do it: get on our knees in prayer, get holy, and lead an examined life that includes great literature. Read what Bishop Conley of Nebraska has to say about reading and culture, his beautiful words will inspire you. Here’s an excerpt:

“Good literature forms a worldview: it offers us insight into our families, our communities, and ourselves. Great literature offers us insight into our relationship with God and the world.”

One of the ways I am settling in here is starting a Well Read Mom group in my new hometown. I have participated in Well Read Mom for two years, and really, I can’t praise it enough. Check out the link and see the kind of goodness going on over there. I will be the first to admit I didn’t finish every single selection from the past year like I did in previous years.  Our move was intense and left little time to read. The point is to be exposed to the great books and have discussions with the group that go beyond the usuals. I might not have finished  Brother’s Karamazov, (not YET) but I will never forget those characters and I’m glad to have been introduced to, what many have called, the greatest novel in history. WRM’s founder, Marcie Stokman, has only one rule, no apologizing for not finishing the book and come to the meetings anyway for stimulating conversation. Her audios are so informative and inspiring, they are worth the time alone to participate!

A few of my other favorite places to walk literary rabbit trails:

Circe Institute: a plethora of articles, podcasts, and other resources that point towards Truth and Beauty.

Read Aloud Revival: Sarah does a lovely job of helping us “build our family culture around books” and brings a joy that is infectious to all things books. I have really appreciated her podcasts and book lists over the last few years.

Ambleside: a free, Charlotte Mason based curriculum has a terrific list of books for all ages to use for educating your children, but the lists are great for ideas no matter what your educational choice is for your family.

Mater Amabilis: a Catholic, Charlotte Mason inspired curriculum, which, again, has some terrific books lists.

Emmanuel Books: A terrific site with lots of lovely historical fiction and curriculum choices as well.

So, look for some more posts on books soon….lists…musings…and hopefully you will share your favs here as well. My goal is to link arms with you and talk about the important things, through the lens of terrific literature.

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Out exploring beautiful hill country in Northern Georgia.

 

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