Spiritual Growth For the Choleric Child–a book preview!

May 20, 2015May 20, 2015 ~ Diana ~ 4 Comments

I want to introduce a terrific new book, “A Spiritual Growth Plan For Your Choleric Child” by Connie Rossini, author and homeschooling mom of four boys.

I found Connie’s blog, “Contemplative Homeschool” a few years ago while looking into Carmelite spirituality and homeschooling. She wrote the book “Trusting God With St Therese,” which I read last winter. Connie’s writing is well crafted and I really enjoyed her book exploring St Therese’s spirituality, while relating it to her own life. When I heard about Connie’s new book dealing with choleric children, I was eager to read it.

Connie and I share something in common…we have four boys. I have my little pink caboose as well, but I know our households are very similar, both in noise volume and blessings. I have a few mixed choleric temperaments in my house, so this newest book was of interest to me. I have to say, as I read it, I kept thinking, “Oh, I wish I had this book 20 years ago!” But, no guilt, just happy to have it now. Take note, younger moms…get the book!

Does this sound like your child?

“He is a natural leader. He dreams big. He loves to be in charge. Give him a task that interests him, and he will eagerly pursue it on his own. He really likes to rally others to his cause and direct them towards a common goal. Although he is an extrovert, he does not just ‘hang out” with friends, chit-chatting. In social situations, he often has an agenda. It can be as simple as persuading others to play a board game that he really wants to play. He is decisive, outgoing, and self-confident. He is seldom afraid to stand up for the truth. He rarely gives in to peer pressure. He tends to speak and act without thinking.” –“A Spiritual Growth Plan For Your Choleric Child”

Temperaments are God-given, there’s no “right” or “wrong” one and each has strengths and challenges. Connie does a terrific job of describing what a choleric child looks like, and distinguishes between the four temperaments, with a brief description of mixed temperaments.

“What sets the choleric apart is his reaction to stimuli. Remember, the choleric responds immediately to stimuli that comes to him through this senses. He reacts strongly, and has a hard time putting his reactions aside.”

The book describes how to look at the sometimes intense, high maintenance choleric child as being on his own unique path to sainthood, while also focusing on the challenges he may experience along the way. Directly naming both the strengths (cholerics have MANY!) and the challenges, she puts forth a game plan to move the child towards self-awareness and spiritual growth.

Pride is choleric’s main struggle. Connie has terrific lesson plans that are very simple to execute which focus on necessary areas of growth unique to the choleric child. These include: humility, empathy, patience, thinking before speaking, respect and obedience, and learning what it means to be a “servant leader.” I love the concept of servant leader. Think St Paul, with his strong conversion story. Most cholerics are a lot like St Paul, once you get them pointed in the right and virtuous direction, they stay the course and bring a lot of people with them up the ladder to Heaven.

I love Connie’s voice in this book. It is always encouraging while looking, straight in the eye, at the challenges of having a choleric child. She doesn’t leave you to sort this all out on your own. She includes lots of examples of what conflict between parent and child might look like, taking into account both different and/or same temperaments. But even better, she also shows what resolution and “having a plan” looks like in both encouraging and disciplining the choleric child. These kids are masters at arguing their point. My husband and I have frequently used the term, “Irrepressible agenda!” while describing the determination shown by our choleric boys in trying to get their way. St Paul had a few irrepressible agendas as well, and once he got on the correct agenda, there was no stopping him!

Connie has put forth a helpful book list that is divided by both age and virtue that is highlighted in the book. She uses the male pronoun throughout, and no doubt, there are more choleric men than women, but when I saw the book Madeline, on her list for younger kids I instantly had a vision of what a young choleric girl looks like. That might, or might not, be a little bit like the writer of this blog. 🙂

Along with the lesson plans and book lists there are numerous Bible verses to have the choleric contemplate and memorize. They are so applicable! One of my favorite parts was the chapter with guided meditations. They are beautiful, simple but oh so effective! Connie had an art piece with the scene of Martha and Mary preparing for Jesus’ visit. The meditations that followed were thought-provoking while still being age appropriate for the children. The book is worth the meditations alone in my opinion.

In the end, having a choleric child can be challenging, especially if your temperament moves towards the melancholic or phlegmatic side, but God’s Grace is sufficient and the journey is made easier with Connie’s wise and helpful book. Be sure to check her blog, Contemplative Homeschool, where she writes really useful posts on developing and deepening our prayer lives. Also, she does plan on publishing more books on the rest of the four temperaments. I am looking forward to reading them! The covers get it right for each temperament, yes?

Snow Day

March 10, 2015March 10, 2015 ~ Diana ~ 3 Comments

We really don’t take snow days around here, since we only need to walk into the front room or basement to “do school.” Lots of snowstorms we have sat on the couch, reading aloud and enjoying the fact that we were not “out in it.” Around here, near the Arctic Circle named Michigan, it gets COLD during the winter. It’s not like Indiana (our former home) where it snows and then you quickly go sledding and build your snowman before it all melts again. I think Indiana actually had an intense winter as well….but probably not quite the nearly 120 inches of snow we have endured.

When we get a warm sunny day here, like low 40’s…that’s a heat wave, Friends! The two youngers were out all afternoon building snow forts and sledding down the plowed up “snow hill.” I had visions of getting a lot of school work done, and we did, but more like lots of nature study. I love the flexibility to do this.

One thing I’m going to start soon is a Book of Firsts. Charlotte Mason really encouraged teachers/parents to help children to establish a relationship with the nature by recording the “firsts” of the year, first day of seeing a robin, first thunderstorm of Spring, first 90 degree day (in Michigan, that may be the one and only day!) You get the picture…I’ve seen a few beautiful examples of this online, and plan on reporting back here with what we come up with as our own Book of Firsts. I have a twinge of guilt that I’ve been homeschooling for nearly 14 years and have never down this. But, no guilt, right? We pick up what we have been given the Grace to do for this season, and march on.

How do you include Nature Study in your day? Or is your house often in a State of Nature?? (Us too, it’s ok!)

And Things Took A Turn…

February 1, 2015February 1, 2015 ~ Diana ~ 4 Comments

As is the case with our homeschooling venture, nothing ever stays the same. There is always something big to contend with, like two pediatric ICU stays in eight weeks, influenza sweeping through our house, knocking most of us down, especially Mama and the fragile asthmatic. I had pneumonia, he had a five day hospital stay. This was just after the wonderful marathon called “Christmas Week,” so we were already a bit raggedy.

Just coming down with the fever from influenza. It was swift and debilitating.

So, how do you regroup after a lot of crazy hits the fan? This is how I do it. Slowly. I know the manic “post apocalyptic illness” frenzy. After sitting, or actually, slumped over on the couch for days, I had impossible lists popping through my head like fireworks. Or was that my fever? So, when I did feel better, I jumped up and started cleaning….for about five minutes…and back down I went. And homeschool?

Wait, I have kids???

Yes, it has been that bad

Dinos and knitting take over the school table.

I always run back to my best homeschooling Friend: Good Literature. We dove back into reading the book: The Life of Our Lord by Marigold Hunt. My seven year old loves it. My thirteen year old listens as well, and I know he gets something out of it. We love the illustrations, which have a Byzantine feel to them. We’ve had some great conversations about the readings. I’ve learned a few things in Hunt’s descriptions of why Jesus used parables. This has also lead to some great discussions with Lily about the different layers of parables Jesus used in teaching His people.

Another book series we love in this house is The Cottage at Bantry Bay written by Hilda van Stockum. I read this sweet series, close to 14 years ago, to my older crowd. The nice thing about having a lot of kids across a wide age span AND sleep deprivation is you can read something years ago, and it’s like discovering and delighting in it all over again with the littles!! See? I knew there was a silver lining with sleep deprivation–book amnesia! The Cottage at Bantry Bay, along with Francie on the Run, and Pegeen, follow the O’Sullivan clan in Ireland during the 1930’s. Van Stockum uses a deft hand at interweaving the Faith into the Catholic family’s story, never heavy handed, but so authentic and delightful. Several times, I’ve wanted to run for a pen and right down different passages. There are so many rabbit trails to follow with books like these; history, questions like, “Why did Francie stay in the hospital for months with something that you’d go home in a day now?” looking at Google maps of Ireland, the different geography making up Ireland, or the time period transitioning from horse to car travel…so many things to discuss and look into together, this is how we love to learn!

A few more things we always head back to for regrouping after the storm, to rebuild the rhythm of our day beyond hospital visits, are poetry and art study. Now, don’t get panicky. This is not some extensive, crazy involved deal. I grabbed our beloved copy of Poetry for Young People: Robert Frost and picked out a few “winter” selections. This book is divided by season, it is truly a gem. We spent last year slowly making our way through the book, reading from it usually every week….sometimes putting it down and then coming back to it as the season started changing…nothing overly thought out, just making it part of what we do as a family….reading good poetry. What I appreciate with this series of “Poetry for Young People” is the poet biography at the beginning of each book, and the quick explanations of each poem, not overly so, but just enough so we aren’t lost with certain word usage or phraseology.

Art study has gotten a lot easier since I’ve purchased a few items from Simply Charlotte Mason. Simple is the key word here. Sonya has done a nice job putting together different art kits for several famous artists. You have the option of either buying a hard copy with the prints sent to you of the chosen artist, or you can download them. I’ve bought the hard copy, it just works better for us instead of me trying to print it out with the usually empty ink cartridges. In the kit is a short biography of the artist, along with a half dozen or so of the artist’s famous prints on nice quality heavy card stock. You will find in the booklet, along with the biography, a short conversation starter for each picture. I like that these prompts are simply starting the conversation, gently pointing out a few key symbols and points that the artist was using, and leaving the rest to discuss. We have used Van Eyck and are just starting Monet. Both my 7 and 13 year old sit in on this, together, making for some interesting conversation between us on the cozy couch.

So, there you have it: good literature, poetry and art–the trifecta of recovery after a long haul of interruption called Life. Saying to my shell shocked, tired kids, “Hey let’s go run to the table for Math, kids!” doesn’t quite invoke a positive response. Couch time with some of our fav friends, a better kind of medicine indeed! I also want to say that literature, poetry, and art aren’t the “extras” of homeschooling….they ARE home education. Yes, we put due emphasis on math and other areas of study, but I focus on the three areas mentioned because they are the areas with the most bang for your buck, the “beauty” that points to the Truth. We cover a lot of ground just through reading together and discussing what we read, including Catechism, history, science, geography and so much more.

What do you like to do in easing back into your homeschool routine after an unexpected break? I do have to say, dark chocolate, as always, is part of my recovery tool kit. Who am I fooling, it’s part of my daily coping and stress relief.

Homeschooling High School…Deep Waters!

November 23, 2014November 24, 2014 ~ Diana ~ 2 Comments

I let this blog go quiet after the very first post. That sounds so lame, but life had a way of leading me off the screen and staying put in the real life that was right before me, in the form of several of my kids and my dear husband having major surgeries and hospital stays in the last several months. So, God willing, I would like to start posting more on home education.

We have been home educating for over 16 years. We’ve graduated two boys so far, and have one in high school, one in eighth grade, and a pink caboose in 2nd grade. Many have asked, “HOW do you DO it??” maybe wanting logistical information, a “formula” for success. I want to be clear about a few important things. Our family, just like yours, is unique. My homeschooling looks different than most families. Much of it has taken place in clinic waiting rooms and on long drives to a distant children’s hospital. Some see that as heroic. If you know me, and still love me, you know it’s mostly stubbornness that God has made good on…I’m no hero or homeschooling superstar. I am passionate about learning being a life long pursuit, along with the development of the character and souls of my kids. This is not something that just happens at a desk between certain hours of the day. That can be true no matter where your child goes to school, whether in your home or a bricks and mortar school. I have found for our family, that life long pursuit of learning and character formation and soul work is much easier here at home, supplemented with outside sources when we are able to participate.

I tend to be pretty relaxed in the early years. Our time is often spent reading great books. Lily and I just finished “The Secret Garden” after inhaling “The Little Princess.” Really good literature is the foundation of our home educating efforts. I feel it’s so efficient, allowing us to cover many areas like history, culture, and virtues to name a few. I mention the early years because it naturally builds what is to come in high school. Just to be for real here….Curious George is playing on Netflix in the background as I write this, so don’t think it’s all highbrow educational pursuits here.

I’ve wished in the past that I could just “follow a curriculum” day by day and be done with it. But with all of the stops and starts, varying academic needs and abilities, it just isn’t that cut and dry around here. In the lower grades, I start with spines like Mater Amabilis and lots of reading lists that I glean books from, and go from there. For my high schoolers, Mother of Divine Grace has been a nice “guide” to follow, with lots of our own revisions to the plans. I especially appreciate the history plans, and the boys have read most of the material.

This has never been about perfection. That is God’s work, not mine. We just keep showing up and begging for the Graces to do what needs to be done-what God wants done for the day in front of us.

Even with all of the challenges of living with several medically difficult diagnoses, I would home educate all over again for high school. I have really loved home educating through high school. My big guys are in rigorous academic programs and are thriving and doing well. They both have substantial scholarships and are leaders at their colleges. I admit to feeling very vulnerable when my new freshman in college started school….would this all be a big flop? Had I forgotten something really important in his formation and now it was going to come out, all glaring and public for all to see? But see, that’s pride…..plain and simple. There are two things here as home educating moms that we fall prey to….comparing our work, both to other homeschooling mamas and the school down the street, and feeling like it’s all about OUR efforts (and both of those fall under the pride category.) Yes, a lot does depend on our efforts, sloth is not pretty for anyone and especially us, but if God has directed you to do this, and you’ve prayerfully discerned with your husband that this is indeed what God wants, than buckle your seat belts…His Grace is sufficient for a seemingly impossible job.

Another experience I want to share is how by being open to the Holy Spirit (or actually being too tired to fight Him, yes?) can be the best curriculum of all. Several years ago, my now twenty-one year old had just finished his sophomore year in high school. He had made a short film about a trip to Washington DC for the March for Life. It was shown at a public film festival, and actually took second place! This was the fire that ignited his desire to make another short film. His next project was to make a documentary about ArtPrize.

That film really was an amazing experience for our entire family. Sam won several awards and was even invited to the Silverdocs Film Festival in Maryland to present his film and sit on a panel of teen film makers. It all seemed surreal compared to the intensity we had lived the previous year with so many medical emergencies and surgeries in the midst of my son’s film making. Did we closely follow a curriculum the Fall of his junior year? Uh, no. We spent a lot of time healing from a very difficult summer of multiple surgeries for multiple family members, including two for Mama. But the skills Sam learned through all of that could not have been replicated by a curriculum. When we listen to the Holy Spirit, and not give in to anxiety, life works out the way He intended. Did I have anxiety about things not looking very “schooly” as my son entered his junior year? Yes!! Did we sweat it out with the SAT and college application process? Double yes that! But all along I knew that God promised to provide, He knew what was best for our kids, and I needed to rest in that knowledge and not fight it.

This brings me to another point. That all sounds impressive, the film making, full tuition scholarship, etc etc….a REAL homeschool success story. But what do we qualify as a “success”? Within my own family, there are varying needs and abilities. If one doesn’t get a scholarship, does that mean no homeschool success? I don’t think so. If a home educated child goes to community college and needs some remedial math, is that a failure on our part? Absolutely not. What if he skips college all together? What is the end game here? You know the answer…..Heaven. That’s it. I know it drives people crazy to hear this because it might come off as dismissing your very real anxieties of the heavy responsibility that home educating your children encompasses, I promise I’m not doing that. I still have anxieties about the job I do, but I know, after graduating two boys, it is really not all about my efforts. There are a lot of other factors at play, primarily Grace and natural abilities. There is also this thing called “Free Will” that makes the ending of the story really between your child and God. Our most important job as Catholic homeschooling parents is the formation of our children’s intellect and will. It is as simple and as big as that. Their intellect and will need to be strong and determined in this crazy world. My husband and I feel that homeschooling through high school gives us the best shot at doing just that for our particular situation, and I know whatever “success” is by the Grace of God and in spite of my human weaknesses. This is not false humility, this is “on-my-knees” first hand knowledge.

I am most satisfied, quite honestly, that both of my college boys are very strong in their Faith and character. They go to Mass every Sunday, often going to daily Mass, go to Confession and encourage others at college in their Faith walk, pray the Office, and the Rosary. They have made time in their very busy schedules to attend the March for Life in Washington DC, and aren’t afraid to share their Faith and the Truths of the Church. That makes my mama’s heart very happy. But see, I can’t take credit for ANY of that! I do feel the Holy Spirit has led us to seeing the supreme importance on having lots and lots of rich discussions about Faith…perseverance….fortitude….we put the relationship before the schooling, the “home” before the “school” and I have seen that bear good fruit! We are forming souls, not simply grooming for college.

I can’t tell you to homeschool through high school. I can tell you I have not regretted doing so one tiny bit. It’s hard– but my anthem has been “Love is bigger than hard.”

ps–be prepared for beards after they graduate! And little sister took this pic!

Nature Walks

June 14, 2014June 14, 2014 ~ Diana ~ Leave a comment

I am starting a new blog to really focus on scenes from homeschooling. It’s meant to encourage and share the lifestyle that we lead as a Catholic home educating family. My hope is to focus on particular books and methods we have used over the last 16 years. and talk about what has worked for us, and still works for us.

I have mentioned to many that Charlotte Mason has inspired a lot of my home education philosophy. Something she espoused as rather important were nature walks. I have to admit, sometimes this is a tough one for us. Due to a lot of medical issues, consistently getting outside can be challenging. We go in spurts, sometimes spending the summer at the beach and going for long hikes, others tethered to aerosol machines and seeing more of clinics and ER’s than beaches and trails. BUT…this summer….we are grabbing the moments when we can, going outside, right in our neighborhood, and taking short nature walks. After a brutal winter, both health and weather wise, we need time outside!

For Lily, this means grabbing my old camera and taking pictures of bunnies in other people’s yards….crawling up a driveway to watch a cat drowsily bat at the air and Lily’s little outreached hands…..and stuffing her tiny pack full of flowers, weeds, and seeds to explore under her handy little microscope.

This is nothing fancy, but oh did it delight Lily. At first glance, a “nature walk” seems almost too simplistic to be of value for “education.” What I see, though, over the years, in spite of our uneven efforts and execution, these little moments really are important. Slow, steady observation of the world (without a lot of input from us) is so soothing to our young ones. My kids need to breathe, walk slowly, see the clump of weeds with pretty flowers, the drainpipe that’s so cool, listen to the birds calling out to each other…..it all sounds so easy, but it belies a deeper meaning than just gathering flowery weeds and taking pictures of cute rabbits. My kids, both young and older, need to step out of the bubble of lit screens and I-somethings….to take in the one is I AM. And you know what? I need it, too. No agenda, no whipping out field studies or making drawings of all we studied, just breathing and “noticing.”

Now for some logistics. I’ve tried to do nature walks for years with my four older boys, and I have to admit, Lily, my tiny pink caboose, takes to this concept more naturally than the boys. Perhaps it is because I insisted on having our nature journals and, by golly, we were going to get some nature drawings down…now…because that’s what CM says we are suppose to do. Now, I focus less on the journals, and more on the “getting out there.” I look back at all of the times spent in parks, playing, exploring, going for walks…and we haven’t done too bad on that account. So, don’t despair if your nature walks don’t “look” like they are “suppose to.”

See you outside!

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